


mamihlapinatapai

by jintsumu



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Come Eating, Deepthroating, Eventual Romance, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Face-Fucking, Friends With Benefits, Fuckbuddies, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Rimming, Smut, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2020-10-21 08:01:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20690159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jintsumu/pseuds/jintsumu
Summary: mamihlapinatapai (noun)"two people looking at each other, each hoping that the other will do what both desire but neither are willing to do."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ;)

It's Saturday. Guan Shan was planning on going straight home after work, like he usually does. 11 pm. Shower. Study for his upcoming culinary school exams. Drop off some money at mom's before she comes home from work. Look at even more job offers to get him through school, wash up, sleep.

When Guan Shan finishes up his shift and walks outside the store, he finds He Tian leaning against the wall. He's trying to look cool. He _does_ look cool. It pisses Guan Shan off.

"What do you want, dipshit." He tries his best to sound angry, but he's really not. He Tian is good to practice new recipes on and is nothing but charming to his mom, so he's half decent. Guan Shan is just tired.

"Don't be like that, Momo," He Tian laughs. "Today's been boring. Keep me company."

Guan Shan feels the tension and stress leave his body, and it makes him want to punch himself in the face. He wonders at what point he started to feel comfortable around He Tian.

"Let me cook," Guan Shan says. "I've got something new."

-

He Tian ended up being so excited about Guan Shan's cooking that he offered to buy a whole week's worth of groceries just so he could eat good food. Guan Shan found himself chopping vegetables in He Tian's apartment, under the steady and curious gaze of the rich boy himself.

"Pass me the mala sauce," Guan Shan murmurs. He's so wrapped up in tasting the soup that he doesn't notice the distance between himself and He Tian getting smaller and smaller.

He Tian rests his chin lightly on Guan Shan's shoulder, startling him a little. "What are you doing," he sighs.

"Tomorrow's my birthday, Momo."

"I know."

"I want a present."

"What could you possibly want that you don't already have?" Guan Shan turns off the stove and moves to face He Tian. He's confused and tired and he wants He Tian to taste his soup.

"I want to fuck you," He Tian chirps. Guan Shan chokes.

"What the fuck," he manages.

"Is now okay? I've got like, condoms and stuff. Did you want to eat first?"

"He Tian--"

"I think we should probably eat after we fuck, you know? I feel like it's kind of weird to eat befo--" Guan Shan, completely embarrassed and flushed red, kisses He Tian to shut him the fuck up. It's frankly one of the cringiest things he's ever talked about, and he's only just now realizing what he's done.

He Tian lifts Guan Shan off his feet and carries him to bed. He shoves him down and presses his lips back onto Guan Shan's own. Guan Shan has no idea what's going on, but he finds himself moving his lips against He Tian's, breathing hard and wrapping his arms around He Tian's neck. He Tian breaks away quickly, mouth moving down to suck and bite at Guan Shan's neck. It feels good. It's ridiculous. Guan Shan snorts.

He Tian looks up. They make eye contact for a good five seconds and both of them burst out laughing. 

"I have no idea what I'm doing," Guan Shan says. "I've never had the time or luxury for sex."

"I don't really know what I'm doing either," He Tian admits. "Feels good, though."

Guan Shan pulls him back down. "Keep going," he barely has the time to say, and then inhales sharply as He Tian nibbles at his ear.

He Tian's hands wander under Guan Shan's shirt, cold and rough and gentle. He brushes his thumb over Guan Shan's nipple. It feels tingly. Guan Shan shivers.

Guan Shan pulls off his shirt and He Tian's, taking some time to admire He Tian's figure. He traces over He Tian's abdomen with his hands. Firm, pale muscles. Perfectly sculpted body. Guan Shan pulls off He Tian's pants.

"Nice," he says, eyes glued on what he sees. He Tian grins.

Guan Shan shucks off his pants and boxers, feeling hot under He Tian's piercing gaze. He Tian slowly pulls down his underwear, and his cock is hard. And huge. A bead of precum glistens at the top of his head. His dick is thick and long and dark compared to the rest of his skin. Guan Shan licks his lips.

"I want to taste," he says. He Tian pushes him down so that his back hits the sheets. "Later," he promises. "Right now, I'm going to finger you."

Guan Shan watches He Tian pour lube over his long fingers. He presses a finger against Guan Shan's ass. Cold. He Tian's finger slips inside. Oh. Not cold.

"Feels weird," Guan Shan mutters. He lifts his ass up a little more, rests his legs on He Tian's shoulders. He Tian pumps his finger in and out, and then adds another. Still feels strange to him-- foreign, and it burns a little. Guan Shan has fingered himself before, but it's always just felt strange.

And then He Tian's finger reaches in a little further and brushes up against his prostate. Guan Shan's legs go stiff and his toes curl. Oh. _Oh._ His fingers shake as they grasp desperately onto the blanket.

"Good?" He Tian smiles, and he fucking does it again. Guan Shan can't help the shaky moan that leaves his mouth. It feels fucking _incredible_. Guan Shan thinks if he just jerks his dick a few times he could cum, just like this.

He Tian watches with too much amusement as Guan Shan gyrates against his fingers, desperately attempting to feel it again. He pulls them out. Guan Shan glares at him. He Tian ignores him and rips open a condom, rolling it smoothly down to the base of his cock and pouring more lube for extra measure. 

"Hurry up," Guan Shan whines. He Tian lines his dick up against Guan Shan's hole and pushes it in. 

This is nothing like he's ever had before. Guan Shan's ass hurts, and he winces, but it also feels good. He Tian draws out slowly, takes a deep breath, and rams it in.

Guan Shan's head falls back against the bed. He arches his back, trying to push against He Tian. More. _More_. He Tian rubs against Guan Shan's prostate over and over, and Guan Shan makes lewd noises that don't even begin to properly show how amazing he feels. 

He Tian pounds Guan Shan, breathing heavily and beginning to sweat. He leans forward to meet Guan Shan's lips, and his neck, and his nipples. Everything feels sensitive and every place that He Tian touches makes him shake and moan. He's burning and freezing at the same time. He Tian reaches his hand down and strokes Guan Shan's dick. It pushes him over the edge.

Guan Shan's mouth opens, but he makes no sound. His toes are curled so tightly that it hurts, and his legs are straight like a rod over He Tian's shoulders. Hot cum covers his chest, and he feels blissed out.

He Tian pulls out, brushing against Guan Shan's perineum as he goes. Guan Shan hums. He flips himself over and helps He Tian take off the condom. 

And then, Guan Shan leans forward, pressing a soft kiss on the top of He Tian's still hard cock. He sucks He Tian down as far as he can, relishing in the soft hisses and groans that rumble out of him. He Tian's dick tastes salty, and it feels hot, and it stretches his mouth so wide that tears begin to form at the back of his eyes. But it's exciting, and it kind of turns him on knowing how much he affects the mighty, handsome He Tian with just his tongue. 

Guan Shan swipes his tongue on and around the head of He Tian's cock. He draws it out of his mouth and goes to work on his balls, sucking softly and rubbing at the base. "I'm going to cum," He Tian says. Guan Shan takes him back in his mouth and hums, and the feeling seems to stimulate He Tian more, because he grabs Guan Shan's hair in his fists and thrusts his dick deep into Guan Shan's mouth. The feeling of warm cum in his throat is weird. He swallows. He kind of likes the taste.

"Are you sure you don't know what you're doing," He Tian rasps. Guan Shan grins. He has no idea what he's doing. The most he's done is suck his fingers so that they'd slide into his asshole more easily. 

Guan Shan goes to the bathroom and takes a cool shower. He Tian follows suit. Then, they lay lazily on the bed. "Fuck, my soup is cold," Guan Shan realizes. He Tian snickers and pulls him closer under the sheets. "Let's have it tomorrow," he sighs, and Guan Shan falls asleep with He Tian's lips pressed against the back of his neck.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> owowowo

Guan Shan gets off of work on Tuesdays around 7 pm. He Tian knows this because he charms all of Guan Shan's employers and sweetly asks about his schedule.

When 7 pm rolls around, He Tian waits patiently for Guan Shan to finish cleaning up. Guan Shan is secretly soft, and he always insists on cleaning the kitchen and carrying the big heavy boxes and closing up the restaurant. The old ladies love him.

Guan Shan pulls on his jacket and finally leaves the restaurant. He Tian greets him with a tilt of his head and a pretentious smile. It's honestly kind of awkward for both of them because it's been a few days since they had sex. Neither of them has said anything about it since then. But He Tian's impatience won over his pride and slight embarrassment, and he finally decided to see Guan Shan.

"Hey," he calls in a sing-song voice. "Momo."

Guan Shan tilts his chin up. "Chicken dick."

He Tian laughs dryly. "Sure, sure."

They walk together in silence for a while. There is an incredibly uncomfortable tension between them. Finally, Guan Shan sighs and turns to He Tian. 

"Are we going to fuck or what," he asks blandly. He Tian grins. He's glad they both know what they're here for.

"You sound impatient, Momo. Have you been anticipating this?"

He Tian waits until the elevator doors slide closed before he leans down and brushes his lips against Guan Shan's ear.

"Have you been waiting for me to fuck you again?" he whispers. Guan Shan turns pink, but he doesn't deny it. "Keep it in your pants until we at least reach the apartment," he snaps instead. He Tian smiles.

As soon as the door is closed and they've both carelessly slipped off their shoes, He Tian's mouth is all over Guan Shan. Guan Shan fumbles to pull off his hoodie and drop it to the floor, and He Tian uses that time to pull his shirt off with it. He pauses and appreciates the marks he'd left on Guan Shan's neck, his collarbone, shoulders. He'll leave more today. 

Guan Shan has somehow managed to pull off He Tian's pants and boxers in a matter of seconds. He licks his lips hungrily and immediately dives in. He Tian hisses in surprise at the warm, soft mouth that closes around his half-hard cock.

"Fuck-- Momo, you--"

"Shut up," Guan Shan says around a mouthful of dick. He uses his hands to pump He Tian's cock and to fondle his balls. His mouth bobs up and down around the rest of what he can reach. Guan Shan licks long stripes along He Tian's dick and occasionally takes it back into his mouth until he's completely erect.

Guan Shan pulls back in satisfaction. He Tian frowns at the lack of heat surrounding his cock, until he looks down at the glint in Guan Shan's eye and the sharp grin spreading across his face.

"Fuck my mouth," Guan Shan says. He's on his knees, yet he's waiting expectantly for He Tian to do as he orders.

He Tian hesitantly grabs Guan Shan's hair and leads him back down onto his cock. Guan Shan makes a pleased noise and hollows out his cheeks in order to tighten his mouth around him. It's so strange, to see Guan Shan willing and wanting to please, and He Tian relishes in the moment. He's enjoying the sight of Guan Shan's eyes glazing over, the sight of his flushed face and messy hair, when his eyes travel down to his lower half.

Guan Shan is still wearing boxers. It's easy to see that he's wet and hard, and the idea of Guan Shan getting aroused just from giving a blowjob unlocks something inside of He Tian. He tightens his fists around Guan Shan's hair and slams him down to the base of his cock.

Guan Shan hums in approval. He's tearing up, but there's a look on his face that says _keep going_, and He Tian does. One of Guan Shan's hands is holding onto He Tian's thigh for support, and the other hand is sliding down to jerk himself off.

"Do you like getting gagged by my dick in your mouth?" He Tian asks sweetly. "Do you like being a slut for giving head?"

Guan Shan moans and rubs his cock in quick, jerky movements. His cum spills over his hand and onto his underwear. He Tian is so turned on by Guan Shan's pleasure that he shoves him off his dick and cums on his face.

"Mm," Guan Shan grunts. He lifts his fingers up to his cheek to wipe off the cum, and then he sucks it off with a pop.

"Get onto the bed," He Tian says. Guan Shan obeys. He Tian pulls his boxers down and flips him onto his stomach, guiding his ass into the air for better access.

Guan Shan gives him a questioning look. He Tian smiles and gives his ass a little slap. It startles Guan Shan. He also seems to like it. He Tian makes a mental note to explore that later.

He Tian reaches his tongue out and swipes it across Guan Shan's asshole. Guan Shan yelps in surprise. He Tian grins and squirts a bit of lube onto his fingers. He caresses the ring around his hole and slips a finger in, pumping in and out. He slides another one in, brushes against Guan Shan's prostate just to tease, and then pulls both fingers out. Guan Shan sounds annoyed and aroused and tortured. He Tian spreads him open with his fingers and slips in his tongue.

Guan Shan lets out a long, loud moan. "Shit, shit, shit--- fuck--"

He Tian slips his tongue in and out of Guan Shan's ass. He makes his tongue soft and pliant, and then he dives in, stiff and hard and quick. Guan Shan pants, dick dripping with precum, ready to orgasm a second time already. He Tian pulls his tongue out completely, and Guan Shan cries in frustration.

"Please, shit, I'll do anything," Guan Shan pleads. He Tian has too much fun teasing Guan Shan, though, so he continues to edge him and stop him from cumming, over and over, until Guan Shan is a shivering, panting, crying mess.

"He Tian," he moans. "He Tian, please, I need it."

"Need what?" He Tian asks with artificial innocence. The look on Guan Shan's face is obscene. He's half drooling, and there are tears in his glossed over eyes, and he's flushed and sweaty. He Tian is really expecting him to be too embarrassed to ask to cum, but Guan Shan grits his teeth angrily and hisses, "I need you. _Inside me_. Right fucking now."

He Tian raises his eyebrows in surprise, but he complies without a word. He slides on the condom and pushes his cock inside. Guan Shan practically shouts, being as sensitive and stimulated as he is, and he keeps begging for more, more, more. He Tian just keeps on giving. Without thinking, his hand comes down and slaps Guan Shan's ass. He must have hit Guan Shan's prostate around the same time, because Guan Shan shakes and his legs give out as he finally gets the orgasm he was denied. It's mesmerising, the way Guan Shan's eyes practically roll to the back of his head, the way his pink lips part in an o-shape, the way sweat glistens and illuminates the marks He Tian's left on his skin. He Tian makes eye contact with Guan Shan, and the blazing, intense heat he feels makes him gnash his teeth together and stutter his hips as he cums. 

Carefully, He Tian pulls out and knots the used condom, tossing it into the trash bin next to the bed. Guan Shan looks halfway between dead and in ecstacy. He Tian drags him to the shower and rinses them both off. 

"That was wack," Guan Shan slurs, and He Tian agrees. Then, he immediately falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it be like that sometimes


	3. Chapter 3

"Shit," Guan Shan hisses. He Tian presses his warm chest against Guan Shan's back, and his hot breaths tickle his ears. He Tian rubs soothingly around the rim of Guan Shan's hole before pressing in a second finger. 

"Oh fuck, fuck, _yes_," he moans. He Tian thinks he could probably get off just to the obscene noises leaving Guan Shan's mouth. But he'd really like to be inside of him, so he pulls his fingers out abruptly and pulls Guan Shan into his arms to take to the bed.

"Tian, Ti-Tian. He Tian," Guan Shan chants, wrapping his legs tightly around He Tian's waist. "Fuck. I need you to fuck me. Right here, just like this."

He Tian could really cum just like this, Guan Shan whining in his ear and calling his name and clinging desperately to him. Instead, he sets his jaw and presses Guan Shan against the window. Guan Shan watches impatiently as he pulls the condom on, going as far as rolling it down with his scrambling hands, wild eyes staring into He Tian's own. He Tian wraps his hands under Guan Shan to support his weight, letting Guan Shan take control and lead him in. 

The blistering heat that fogs up the glass is nothing compared to the feeling of entering Guan Shan. He Tian relishes in the way Guan Shan's head tosses back and music spills out of his mouth in the form of guttural moans. 

"Are you okay?" He Tian says, and it's mostly just for show, because he already knows Guan Shan is ready, and he can already feel his hips rolling around, desperately trying to get more friction. 

As much as He Tian wants to fuck Guan Shan against the window, he thinks it'll have to wait. He Tian's got another plan for them today that he's sure will make Guan Shan just as happy. 

He Tian throws Guan Shan onto the bed. "All fours," he commands. Guan Shan scrambles to his hands and knees without question, and He Tian immediately thrusts back inside of him. 

Guan Shan moans softly, but they get into their usual pattern of fast-paced, needy fucking. He Tian doesn't want that today. 

He Tian slows down just a little, goes a little gentler, fucks Guan Shan in a way that is a little too soft for his taste. Guan Shan looks over his shoulder in confusion and annoyance. He Tian smiles a twisted smile. He rubs Guan Shan's ass, and as he prepares to thrust in as hard as he can, He Tian spanks him roughly.

Guan Shan lets out a shaky gasp. "Oh, fuck, yes," he yells. "Yes, ah, yes, yes--!"

He Tian continues to slap his ass, hitting with a stiff, flat palm. He can feel Guan Shan twitching and tightening, and he can see him oozing precum. When he is sure Guan Shan is about to cum, he clamps his fingers tightly around the base of Guan Shan's cock, stopping him from orgasming. Guan Shan cries in frustration. 

"He Tian," Guan Shan moans, and He Tian thinks he might have a name kink. There's something about the way Guan Shan calls him his name only during sex that turns him on.

"What do you need, honey," He Tian says, grinning when Guan Shan glares holes through his head. 

"You know--"

"I need you to say it, Hong Fa," He Tian teases. Guan Shan writhes in discomfort and dissatisfaction. He Tian brings his other hand down to stroke Guan Shan's cock, still clamping hard at the base.

"I want to _cum_," he finally says. "Let me cum, He Tian, please, I'll do anything--"

"Anything?"

"Yes, anything," Guan Shan promises. He's kind of expecting something weird and kinky, but He Tian brings his lips real close to Guan Shan's ear and whispers, "Then perish."

Guan Shan stills. So does He Tian. And then, unexpectedly, he snorts really hard and loud and they both collapse into giggles.

"You ruined the mood," Guan Shan insists, but they're both still hard and they're both having fun and that's all that really matters. He Tian cards through his hair and tugs at the base, where the nape of his neck begins. 

"I'll make it up to you," he says with a cryptic smile, and then he slams directly into Guan Shan's prostate, releasing his grip on his dick at the same time. Guan Shan stutters through a full body orgasm with a loud string of curses and then collapses on the bed.

He Tian takes the condom off and Guan Shan finishes him off with his hands, licking thick cum off his fingers. "Do you actually want me to do something?" he wonders aloud.

"Sometime later," He Tian says, already filled with too many ideas. "Let's eat."

-

"I think frog is a bad safe word," Guan Shan says. "Maybe something like straw, instead?"

"You're probably right," He Tian begins, and then the door is practically kicked open by the master cockblocker, Jian Yi himself. Guan Shan's nostrils flare. He Tian, unbothered, turns to the two intruders and says, "What's a good safe word?"

"Math test."

"Tomato."

"Refrigerator coolant."

"Disodium inosinate."

"Testicular cancer."

"Your mother and I are getting divorced."

"If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with mesothelioma, you may be entitled to financial compensation."

"Burger King foot lettuce."

"I want a baby."

The three other guys stare at Guan Shan.

"That kinda goes with the mood though, doesn't it?" Xheng Xi asks.

"Do you want a baby?" He Tian inquires in an innocent voice. He's sporting a sharp grin on his face. "I can make that happen." 

"That sounds more like a threat than a turn on," Jian Yi whispers to Xheng Xi as the two of them watch He Tian wrestle an embarrassed Guan Shan to the ground. "Fuck, get off of me, chicken dick!" he screeches.

"That's not what you were saying about me a few hours ago," He Tian chirps. Xheng Xi mentally erases the image of Guan Shan giving birth to a child as he turns off the stove under the pot of overboiling soup. "I don't actually know what vibe he's going for," he whispers back to Jian Yi. 

-

Guan Shan stirs the soup, frowning and adding more salt to it. He Tian hovers curiously over his shoulder, one hand cupping Guan Shan's hips and the other snaking down into his pants. He Tian says something in Guan Shan's ear that makes him turn red.

"Young love," Jian Yi remarks, watching as He Tian kisses and teases Guan Shan. Xheng Xi lays his head on Jian Yi's lap. "Guan Shan's a lot more tolerant of He Tian's bullshit," he notices. "Maybe it's because they started dating?"

"Weren't they dating before?"

There is a pause as they turn to look at Guan Shan, who presses a chaste kiss to He Tian's lips and then murmurs something to him. He Tian blinks in surprise and then buries his face into Guan Shan's shoulder. The tips of his ears are turning red. Jian Yi stares blandly and says, "No, you're right. They just started dating."

"How pure."

-

"Hong Fa," He Tian sing songs as he caresses Guan Shan's hips, "I'm thinking of making you wear lingerie, what do you think?" Guan Shan flushes, because that's embarrassing as hell and also because he knows he wouldn't mind it. 

Guan Shan leans over to kiss He Tian square on the mouth. "You can raw me in my lacy panties tomorrow," he says in a low voice, and he feels satisfied at how hot and bothered He Tian is starting to look.

"How pure," Guan Shan hears Xheng Xi say from across the room, and he thinks about how far from the truth that must be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls leave comments im lonely


	4. Chapter 4

To say He Tian's having a shit day is an understatement. For starters, Guan Shan is nowhere to be found. He Tian waited in front of his work for three hours, smiling politely at the blushing girls and playing games on his phone. Then, He Cheng called and forced him to come home. He Tian had to eat dinner in a huge, lonely mansion, eating rich people food that doesn't even compare to what Guan Shan makes. 

He Tian sighs as he enters his apartment. He clicks the door shut and switches on the lights. Today's one of those days where he would usually get piss drunk and flirt with random people, but He Tian hasn't been with anyone since he and Guan Shan started fucking, and he finds that he doesn't really want to mess around with anyone else. 

He Tian sulks as he pulls off his shoes and coat. He feels lonely.

"He Tian." When he looks up, Guan Shan is sitting on his bed, wearing a fluffy robe. He Tian immediately relaxes and smiles. 

"I've been looking for you all day," he complains, flopping next to Guan Shan on the bed. Guan Shan grins. "I was off work today, so I went out."

He Tian frowns. "Went out? Where?"

"Open the robe and find out," Guan Shan whispers. He Tian's heart races as he carefully pulls open Guan Shan's robe.

He's wearing lingerie. His thigh highs are so tight that his milky legs are starting to spill out of the sheer material. The soft lace of his panties barely cover the wet spot underneath. And his chest-- his chest is strapped in by a cupless bikini top, which in its essence is just silky ribbon that accentuates Guan Shan's perky, pink nipples. Guan Shan bites his lip nervously. He Tian is already rock hard, so hard it hurts.

"Do you like it," Guan Shan asks breathlessly. He Tian swallows the drool that's starting to collect in his mouth. "Yeah," he says eloquently, for lack of better words. "Yeah, I do."

He Tian slides his fingers over Guan Shan's chest. Guan Shan shivers. He Tian's fingers brush over a nipple, and he whines lewdly. 

"That's illegal," He Tian says.

Guan Shan turns and drops face first onto the bed. His ass is up in the air, and He Tian notices the vibrator stuck in it. He pulls it out tantalizingly slow. 

"What's this?"

"I prepared myself so we could fuck faster," Guan Shan says bluntly. 

"Fucking you with my fingers is fun, though," He Tian sighs.

"But I'm extra excited to get fucked by your cock today." Guan Shan purses his lips. "I want you to fuck me raw."

If it's even possible, He Tian gets even harder. "God, Hong Fa," he laughs. "You can't just... _say_ that."

Guan Shan smiles. He shuffles around to face He Tian. "Do you want me to suck you off?"

"I-- want to fuck you first." He Tian takes off his shirt and unzips his pants, pulling his dripping cock out of his boxers. Guan Shan licks his lips as he pours lube on his dick and pumps it a few times. 

He Tian scooches Guan Shan over to the edge of the bed and rubs up against him before sliding in. He lets out a low moan. The heat of Guan Shan's walls around him- the feeling of being inside of him raw, of feeling connected-- it's incredible. It's overwhelming.

"Fuck, He Tian. Mm- ah-- more." Guan Shan's hips shake and slide under He Tian's hands. He Tian grips him harder and slams himself in, down to the base.

Every moan is like music to He Tian's ears. He gets into a steady pace, rocking himself in and out of Guan Shan, falling in time with his moans and pants.

"Fuck-- I'm-- Guan Shan, I'm gonna cum."

Guan Shan cries out in pleasure and hooks his legs around He Tian's ass. "Inside-- cum... inside."

"What--"

"_Please_, He Tian, I need--" Guan Shan reaches up and loops his arms around He Tian's neck. "I need you to-- breed my ass."

He Tian inhales sharply and shouts as he cums inside of Guan Shan. There is an undeniable pleasure surging through him like no other. Guan Shan gets tighter around his cock as he milks out every drop of hot cum. He Tian kisses him softly before pulling out. Cum oozes out of his ass and onto the sheets.

Guan Shan is trembling with need. He Tian slips his fingers back into his ass and begins to edge him with his other hand. Guan Shan whines as his dick gets touched in short strokes. The feeling of sticky cum that loosens He Tian's fingers as he glides over Guan Shan's still sensitive prostate makes him shout. He Tian rubs his palm over the head of Guan Shan's cock, and it sends him over the edge. Guan Shan lifts up to meet any kind of friction and orgasms silently, cum splattering his stomach.

When Guan Shan opens his eyes that he doesn't remember closing, he can see stars. His legs are shaking a little. He Tian brushes his lips over Guan Shan's fingertips and leads him to the bathroom, where he gets cleaned up. 

He Tian kisses his forehead, and Guan Shan falls asleep to the feeling of warm, gentle water cascading down his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: says there will be eventual romance  
also me: writes a super short chapter that's literally just porn


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been five billion years i do apologize for my random hiatus;;;; i was in a bad mental state for a while but i have since bounced back and i'm doing better than ever!!! unfortunately do to my overly ambitious nature this will be the last chapter-- i never truly figured out how i wanted this story to go, and i have a lot of other stories to write, so i hope you understand and enjoy this last little bit.

There's something to be said about the fact that Guan Shan has been staying at He Tian's place for like, three weeks straight now. Obviously, he still drops by his own place for such and such, but the amount of time he spends with He Tian is honestly ridiculous. 

It’s early in the morning, and He Tian is still asleep when Guan Shan slips out of bed to pad over to the kitchen. The abundance of vegetables has become normal for He Tian’s apartment, as well as the relative cleanness and homeliness. There’s a pleasant feeling in Guan Shan’s gut at the idea of He Tian’s place being shaped into something more comfortable for the both of them, but he’d rather choke than address that feeling, so he shakes the thought out of his head and pulls out a few fresh vegetables to start a stir fry.

The sizzle of oil on the pan and the sound of the knife slicing through crisp vegetables is soothing, and Guan Shan zones out a little as he cooks. His legs hurt a little, because He Tian is a little shit who loves to make Guan Shan’s life that much harder by manhandling him when he knows Guan Shan has demanding physical labor jobs the next day. Not that Guan Shan’s really complaining, because the ache of nonstop sex doesn’t really affect his work or body to a fault. He’ll just be reminded of the night before while he carries crates of produce between the delivery trucks and the storage room in the market.

“Little Mo,” Guan Shan hears in his ear, and He Tian’s arms slide around him. He’s especially clingy in the mornings, which is kind of funny, and also very warm. 

“He Tian.”

“Breakfast?” He Tian asks. He doesn’t seem as interested as he sounds, honestly, not when his already hard cock is brushing against Guan Shan’s bare ass.

“Yes, and we’re eating it hot this time.” He Tian pouts at the subtle rejection, and Guan Shan sighs. He turns and hands the wooden spoon he was stirring with to He Tian, who stares at him quizzically. 

“Stir a little, just make sure nothing burns.” He Tian still has the audacity to look confused, which makes Guan Shan want to punch him a little, but whatever. He drops to the floor and pulls He Tian’s sweatpants down just enough to pull out his dick.

He Tian’s dick is objectively nice looking, with its large size and girth and the cut tip and the perfectly tan pink color. A little bead of clear precome drips down, and Guan Shan sucks at it gently.

Guan Shan’s long since gotten used to sucking dick, and it only takes a few deep breaths through his nose for him to reach the base of He Tian’s dick. The smell of salt, sweat, and boy fills his senses, and he swallows it down, tightening the back of his throat where he can feel He Tian’s fat, warm cock pulsing inside.  
He Tian lets out a shuddering breath, and Guan Shan pinches the back of his knee as a light punishment. He Tian goes back to awkwardly stirring the vegetables, and Guan Shan starts to pull off of the cock in front of him. Back, back, back, until only the first few inches are filling his mouth, and then all the way back down, until Guan Shan’s nose hits He Tian’s navel, and the cavern of his esophagus is entirely overwhelmed with cock.

“Guan Shan,” He Tian whispers, more to himself than anything, but Guan Shan always loves the way he says his real name-- so quiet, and real, and gentle, and it never fails to rile Guan Shan up. He moans, long and deep, knowing the sound will vibrate up and onto He Tian’s dick.

When He Tian starts to take shallow and loud breaths, Guan Shan knows to pull off completely, sucking and licking at his tip until cum spills out, and he laps at it. They’re both clean and healthy and hygienic, so He Tian’s come is more salty and strong than bitter and disgusting like he’s heard some people have. He doesn’t mind the taste, and he enjoys the way He Tian looks at him when he swallows most of it down his throat.

He Tian flips the stove off and pulls Guan Shan up onto the counter, bending to fit between his thighs. “What the hell,” Guan Shan sputters, but He Tian ignores him.

The biggest thing that Guan Shan forgets is that as much as he knows He Tian’s weaknesses and what he enjoys, He Tian knows the same about him. There are big, warm hands palming at the meat of his ass, and He Tian mouths at his thighs right by his hole, where he’s the most sensitive. The feeling of hot, wet air on his thighs makes him inhale sharply, and He Tian takes a teasing bite out of the muscle of his leg. 

He Tian takes his time nipping at Guan Shan’s legs and teasing against his cock and balls, but when Guan Shan starts to squirm, he pushes his legs up with his hands and moves on. 

Guan Shan is still entirely clean from last night, and He Tian wastes no time teasing his hole. It’s almost entrancing to watch him flutter as he blows hot air onto it, and he smiles as he lowers the tip of his tongue down to the rim. He licks around it and sucks a little, and then starts to fuck Guan Shan with his tongue. 

Guan Shan’s head is thrown back and he stares out the full length windows, eyes almost glazing over. It’s a sunny and peaceful morning, and the taste of cum is still strong in his mouth, and He Tian’s tongue rubs at his insides.

When he starts getting worked up, He Tian fumbles around with a bottle of lube that he started to keep here somewhere between their fifth and sixth time having sex in the kitchen. He slicks up his fingers and rubs them together, rapidly heating it with friction, and then he presses the first one in. His mouth trails upwards to mouth at the leaky cock in front of him, and his finger starts to piston into Guan Shan’s ass. 

Guan Shan tugs at his hair a little, which means he wants more, and He Tian laughs a little at his impatience. A second lubed finger pushes in with the first, and he waits until Guan Shan’s fully adjusted before he starts to push up at his prostate.

It doesn’t take much longer for Guan Shan to come, and then they’re cleaning up a bit, and then Guan Shan is smacking him upside the head. “What did I say about eating on time,” he scolds, and He Tian shrugs.

It’s a peaceful morning, and both of them are satisfied, and they begin to dig into their first meal of the day.

-

Common and frequent becomes comfortable, and comfortable becomes pleasant, almost. They don’t talk about whatever it is they have between them, but it’s clear that they’re compatible and happy with this arrangement, and neither of them are going anywhere.

Guan Shan doesn’t move in, and He Tian doesn’t ask him to, but sometimes Guan Shan goes back to his unused apartment and finds his bills already paid, or maybe He Tian will come back to a dark, empty apartment but it’s clean and it smells nice and there’s food in the fridge and it feels like a home. 

Somewhere between the twentieth and thirtieth time they go grocery shopping together, He Tian already knows which sauce to buy, what’s on sale and whatnot, and Guan Shan will find himself reaching for the snacks that he knows He Tian likes to eat. 

It’s not perfect, but it’s not terrible, and it’s comfortable. There’s something to be said here-- there’s something about the way Guan Shan sighs and grumbles but still takes care of He Tian, and there’s something about the way they’ve fulfilled their desires with each other and are still both here and wanting. Guan Shan thinks one day he might just wake up and realize he’s spent his life with He Tian, and the thought doesn’t even bother him.

-

Mamihlapinatapai-- a noun, from the Yaghan language. It describes the event of two people looking at each other, each hoping that the other will do what both desire but neither are willing to do. 

Guan Shan thinks that neither of them will ever take another step forward and turn their relationship into something else, but that’s okay. It’s there, unspoken, three words he doesn’t find himself wanting to say out loud, hidden between bed sheets and home cooked meals and remarkable sex. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo yeah that's the end :-) thanks for reading this !!!! if u are interested in other fandoms i have some stories for other stuff too!!!! anyways have a good day


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